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My Tate 1984 Classmate Contact & Reunion Page

Before Surgery  After Surgery:   2001   2003    2004    2005 and After

01/01/2002:      Well, today I have lost a total of 100 lbs. (80 lbs. since surgery).  It could not be a more perfect beginning to a new year!

01/12/2001:     Four of us girls got together today to go work out & eat lunch.  We have so much fun when we do this... We spend the whole day pampering ourselves and doing "girl" stuff.  We get to "compare" stories and experiences and we get to eat good food. Then, we are totally exhausted and we sleep like babies afterwards... So completely relaxed and exhausted... It is good to do every once in a while.  I could have never done these things before.  I could not have held up.  And even though I am just getting over bronchitis & a hurt left foot, I still did more than I ever could have in the past.  When my foot gets better, I will start back to walking.  Have to get serious about it... The holidays and all put me behind...I have to get enough water in each day to keep losing weight.. I am feeling great.  I finally realize that I am really losing the weight and will do well.  The first few months, even though I am a positive person, I had some doubts or reservations.  I don't like to count on something, or it may jinx it.  So I don't get excited.  But I do now.  I have lost 107 lbs. so far and am no longer "morbidly obese".  My BMI is under 40 for the first time in many years.  I can move around & keep up with other people in everyday activities.  My doc was thrilled the other day when he saw me.  He looked at the X-Rays of my lungs and said "Look, your lungs are not crowded anymore"...(Because of my weight)... He was so happy with my weight loss & general health.  Think how happy he will be in 6 more months when I have lost a lot more weight and am closer to or at goal (whatever that is.. I will know when I get there).  My size 20's are baggy and the old clothes I wore before surgery just completely swallow me.  I put on a jacket the other day & it wrapped all the way around me, 1 & 1/2 times.  It was unbelievable.  I still see myself as fat, and cannot believe I have lost this much, until I look at myself in jeans or an old shirt that I threw on quickly and I see that it is falling off and would be obscene if I wore it in public.  It is so GREAT!

01/20/2002:     Went shopping today at Wal-Mart & everything in the plus size section was TOO BIG!  So I wandered to the regular people's section & looked around.  I really needed a jacket, and I found one, an X-Large.  I tried it on, knowing it would not fit up my arm, but low & behold, it fit & I had a little room to spare.  WOW! Needless to say I continued to shop, and everything I got that fit was an X-Large/Size 16/18. I think I was in shock for the rest of the night.  My hubby even made a remark at how much smaller my shoulders were & that he had never felt bones in them before.  A friend that I had not seen in months was amazed at how much smaller I had gotten.  Overall, it was such a good day, because the whole day was so complimentary.   On another note, I have a friend that I have made since this surgery & she was denied Friday and is devastated.  She is doing everything she can to get approval, everyone please keep her in your thoughts.  There is another lady that has had alot of problems since her surgery.  She is on her way back to good health, but she also needs alot of prayers to help her along.  I know that everyone I have met involved in the WLS journey has been wonderfully supportive.  I would like to spread a little good luck their way.  A girl that I angel, Karen, is having surgery tomorrow.  I am excited for her.  I have been plateau'd for a week or so now.  I don't mind. I have been losing so well, and I have not hit a plateau for about two months now it seems.  I didn't do well on water intake this last week & I am sure that contributed to it... It will start up again when it is ready.  For now, I am truly happy & healthy & very lucky.

01/25/2002:     Just to mention, I have lost a ton of hair over the last couple of weeks.  I knew it would happen, so no shock there.  But wow, how much I lose at one time is phenomenal.  In about two weeks I have lost about 1/2 of the heaviness of my hair.  Since my hair was super thick, no on can tell but me.  But my clothes are covered all day & I have to keep "cleaning" it off & throwing it away.  When I pick out the knots in my hair, I pull out handfulls, so I don't comb it very much.  Only twice a day.  Once in a.m. & once at night.  The rest falls out on it's own.  I am losing almost all of it in the back where it is really long.  The front is still decently thick. I have lost some there, but still not noticeable by others.  For those who ask about hair loss,  I figured I would tell ya while I remembered. 

01/27/2002:     Still on a plateau.  It will break soon.  I am still losing inches, just not pounds right now.  I have been plateau'd most of this month it seems.  Guess my body had a lot of catching up to do.  I have tried to do better on drinking water, getting better since I am doing bags of tiny ice chunks now.  It is the only thing that helps me drink alot of water. Chewing the ice.  I can tell that I can eat more of a variety of food now & that I eat more food now.  Still not alot of food, just feels like it.  But when I step back and look at how much I take in over a day's time, it really is not much.  I still don't do hamburger meat, something just won't let me eat it.  I have chewed it, but can't swallow it.  That is ok.  I still obsess about food here & there, I guess I am having a harder time getting over the addition of food that I thought I would.  I did not even know I was addicted to food before this surgery stuff came about.   I need to get back to exercising like I should, have not had any time though.  My son's wrestling ends after next weekend, so life should get ALOT easier.  That has consumed nearly all of my time.  But, it does every year.  I need to be walking at least 4 days a week.  And I have been fitting in one or two.  It's weird how before surgery I was so sick & life passed right by.  Now that I am healthier, life won't slow down.  Run, run, run all the time.  I am not complaining, by any means.  It is just an observation of how different things are.  Before I didn't care about my appearance, clothing-wise, because I always looked like a cow in whatever I wore.  So I didn't bother to wear nice clothes.  It was no use.  Now, I take more pride in my appearance, dressing neater.  Even in jeans I look better.  It was not that I didn't try, it just didn't do any good.  So, yes, I guess I eventually did quit trying.  I just wore big baggy stuff that covered up the fat.  Amazing how different things are already, and I am only five months out & still have quite a bit of weight to lose.  I have lost 111 lbs. so far total, 91 since surgery.  I guess I have between 50-70 more pounds to go, as I was 186 lbs. overweight before.  I don't really have a goal, I will know it when I get there.  50-70 pounds sounds like such a small amount, compared to 186.  WOW!

02/07/2002:     Broke the plateau last week, lost about 5 lbs., back on it again, maybe.  I walked like 4 or 5 days last week, between 1 ¹/2 & 2 miles each time & a much faster pace.  It really made a difference.  I have only walked once this week so far, but will go tomorrow night & most likely Saturday morning too.  It really made a difference going first thing in the morning last Saturday, instead of like I usually do after work.  I had alot of energy, not pooped as usual.  Did two miles, really fast, no where near as much effort as I have to exert after work when I go.  So I will have to get into the habit of going on Saturday mornings, it was so much easier.  A friend came back in town last week.  She has been gone for awhile, so hopefully we will be able to hang out sometimes and all.  I have made 4 very good friends through all of this, and I am very grateful for that.  That is another positive of this surgery that I did not expect!  I feel so much better.  It is unbelievable what I can handle on a daily basis now, where as before I could not handle walking.  Truly amazing.  I am shocked at how much more normal I eat now.  I thought in the beginning that it was always going to be like that, and I was wondering HOW I was going to do "that" for the rest of my life.  But I didn't realize that "that" only lasted a couple of months, then you start to be more normal.  I didn't understand, even though I heard it from everyone.  I just had to get there myself.  I can eat salad again, obviously small amounts, but still, I could not eat that the first 3 months at least.  I eat a tiny amount of ground beef, like in chili or spaghetti, but I do not eat burgers.  I still love buffalo or chicken wings.  I LOVE my bean burritos with hot sauce.  Could not live without it.  Go out to eat alot, eat a tiny amount, and am very satisfied.  I am one of those people that eat a tiny amount, then eat again in an hour or two.  I tend to get hungry soon.  If I stay really busy, I don't eat as much, I tend to do better on losing weight.  When I am not as busy, I tend to think about food alot & I crave and eat more often it seems.  Then I plateau.  So I know myself, I just have to watch myself.  Still.  But I don't mind.  It is much easier now.  Before, I didn't have any control.  Now I do.  Big difference.  I don't eat as much grapefruit as before, but I still eat alot of fruit.  Love fruit.  Don't like sweets, unless I just eat like a tiny "Jolly Rancher" now & then for "candy" flavor.  Otherwise, I don't crave sweets.  But then again, I never did before.  Except for sour candy.  I love sour stuff.  I don't do carbs well.  They make me feel awful.  That is good.  I was a "mashed potato" junkie before.  I ate them at every meal, sometimes they were my meal.  Not anymore.  I can walk away from them.  I have only eaten them maybe 5 times since surgery and that was a tiny amount.  They do mess with my emotions, like I have heard others say.  More-so now than before, I think.  I am SO happy I did this.  It definitely was one of the best things I have ever done.  It was the answer that I never thought existed.  So many people need to know about this surgery and have it available to them.  It is a shame that insurance companies can refuse to cover it, if they only realized how much money it would save them in the long run.  If I were wealthy, I would have paid for it myself if I had to.  But I am not, so I have to be thankful that my insurance company was smart enough to approve it.  Otherwise I would be looking forward to dying in a few years.  What a shame it would have been.  Especially for the son I am still raising and the husband I just married last year.  This was my miracle.

02/16/2002:    Hi guys!  Well, it's been a rough week, but things are looking up.  Two friends had surgeries (ran from one hospital to another), have not walked in a week (bad girl!), some woman hit my van this last weekend and did $2000 worth of damage and it still is not worked out (why me), my son is on restriction for bad grades (poor him) and I am still looking for a job. ~~~~ I have never liked job hunting, never had to search very hard before.  Always got a job without it.  Someone always recommended me & they called me or I walked in, applied, and got the job.  But, I really need to find another job bad now, working conditions have gotten even worse.  I have tolerated it for almost 5 years now, much longer than I ever should have.  But it is my fault for staying.  Now, it is time for me to change that part of my life.  My weight loss sure has slowed alot.  I feel like I have been plateau'd for 2 months now.  Have not lost much at all, but I have "thinned" up around my shoulder areas, and gained muscle in my legs from walking so much.  So I guess I am exchanging fat for muscle.  I estimate that I am in 16/18's right now, which in itself is wonderful.  I am not complaining, I am totally happy right now with my weight.  It will come off slowly, apparently, but I have to get back to exercising right and all.  Next Thursday (21st) will be 6 months for me.  I still have 6 months of weight loss time left, will just have to work harder for it.  I am going to buy some clothes today, so we will see where I am at then.  Am going to take a 6 month picture soon to update/post.  Eating is not an issue anymore.  As long as I don't drink milk.  That still makes me sick.  I did find a protein mix last week that is tolerable if I mix it will milk.  So I diluted the milk with water & teeter/tottered on the "sick" line for an hour or so.  But, it tasted decent.  Finally!  I still have long hair, thin, but long.  It has come out so much, and not much left it feels like, but still people tell me that they cannot tell.  I am just used to having tons of hair.  Don't mind thin, but hope it stops soon, or I will have to cut it.   Miss getting together with the girls.  Hope to do that in a couple of weeks and exercise till I drop.  Good luck to pre-ops and congrats to post-ops.  Love you guys.

02/21/2002:    Well, today is 6 months since surgery.  I have lost 100 lbs. since surgery and 120 lbs. total.  I am in a size 16 and weigh 221 lbs.  I feel great!  I have not been exercising and am still plateau'd.  Will get back to doing right as soon as this job hunting slows down.  Not enough hours in the day to get everything done anymore.  Took 6 month pics, but I could not tell a difference in me in them.  So I took one with my son, for size comparison, and it helped alot.  Emailed them to everyone who I figure cares.  Chart says I need to lose 2.3 lbs. per week for the rest of the next 6 months to get down to 150 lbs.  I don't really have a goal, just picked that one for now.  I am happy where I am at, but need something to work towards, or will stay here it seems.  That would not be bad, but I at least need to try!  New pics are posted on photos page.

03/09/2002:    This has been a good week.  I quit my job yesterday.  Hooray!  It has been a long 5 years there.  I start Monday at a new one, and so thrilled to be going there.  I lost 6 lbs. in the last week.  I have been mostly on a plateau for the last two months, so that made me feel good.  I am currently at 215 lbs. , only 16 lbs. to get under 200.  Have not been there since I had David.  And that was only for a short time.  Then it was up, up, up I went.  I saw my old boss the other day for the first time in about 6 years.  That was nice.  We always got along well & I always liked her.  She looked good.  I hope to keep in touch with her.  My son has art in a show on display this month at the Birmingham Museum of Art and we are going to the opening today.  He was so disappointed, as the piece he submitted came up missing (this is the 3rd time that has happened, various art shows though).  He is trying to prepare a portfolio, in preparation for college & 3 of his best pieces have been stolen/lost.  He was so devastated.  They apologized, but that just doesn't help get his piece back.  So now, he has something that is "not as good" that was substituted at the last minute and not prepared for the art show.  I am still in a size 16, and they are loosening up, not as tight anymore.  They weren't too bad when I got in them, just snug.  I have bones popping up that I didn't know existed.  I got on my knees the other day to take a computer apart, and damn did that hurt.  No padding like before.  Glad that padding is gone though.  My face still peels real bad since surgery.  I have to scrub it everyday & moisturize it, but it still starts peeling within a couple of hours.  Don't know what the deal is, but I have lost layers of skin on my face.  I never had this problem before, but a minimal problem it is.  My blood pressure seems to still be doing good.  Only taking the one pill each day.  I have not been sick since surgery.  That is great.  I think I got a head cold, but that is because it was so cold in my office and the boss would not turn the heat on.  Sitting there freezing all day, every day,  made me sick.  But no more of that!  I am going home to visit family at the end of March (just for a day).  A friend got killed this week.  So sad.  Her estranged husband killed her & then himself.  Left a little girl without parents & devastated a wonderful family.  It is so ridiculous & sad.  What a selfish human being.  I know I have been rambling.  Sorry.  Got to go shower to go to the museum.  Everyone have a great week.  Try to post next weekend.

04/11/2002:    Well, I had my 6 month check-up yesterday (at 7 1/2 months).  I just changed jobs, so I had to wait to go after getting a little more situated.  I was at 197 with clothes on.  That is pretty impressive to me.  I have lost 124 lbs. since surgery & 144 lbs. total since last July.  I never would have thought I could have lost 150 lbs. in less that 9 months.  My health is phenomenal!  I feel great.  My physical problems are extremely minimized.  I lost about 3/4th's of my hair.  Thank goodness I had a ton.  It is really thin, but not noticeable to anyone who doesn't know.  I have to point it out.  Some who know me well can tell it is thinner, but it is ok to me, it didn't turn out bad like it has for others who had thin hair to start with.  I still would have done this surgery though.  Hair or no hair.  I would not trade the great health it has brought me & giving me my life back.  My son has his mom back & he is thrilled.  My hubby doesn't say much, but that is normal for him.  I am still in a size 16, but it is baggy most of the time or at least loose.  Comfy I would say, as I like my clothes looser.  I do wear shorter shirts, where as before you would not catch me dead in a shirt shorter than my thighs.  My belly hung so low, I had a lot to cover.   I am so busy, go go go all the time.  What a difference from the girl that existed from the bed or couch for the last year of her life (when I was not suffering at work).  I got my B-12 shot yesterday, will see if I can tell a difference.  I started dragging recently, but I think it was just from all the long hours & hectic schedule (stress).  I don't lose real fast anymore, but that is fine, and expected.  Can't lose that fast forever, has to slow down and it did at about 6 months.  I average about 10 lbs. a month, if all goes well, and if I can lose another 30 lbs over the next 3 months, then I will be close to where I think I should land.  I figure about 140-150 lbs., but don't know till I get closer.  As long as I have all this excess skin, I will weigh more, obviously.  I don't want plastic surgery, so am going to wait my 18 months, unless something happens, to see how much shrinks up.  My belly is not as bad as other peoples, so I figure myself lucky there, but my arms are awful.  Still going to wait & see.  My Fibromyalgia has come back though, and I think it is my big boobs (sorry).  I am losing around, but not bust size.  Even though I have lost a ton, I am still huge.  I am in a 38, taken up on it's tightest notch, and soon is a 36.  I cannot fit into a DD, and normal places don't sell DDD or E's in 38's or 36's.  I think the weight from my boobs is what is causing my Fibromyalgia to go crazy in my upper back, as all of my pain is still at my shoulder blades, under my bra area.  Going to see what happens.  Don't really want to do boob surgery unless they are going to perk them up for me at the same time.  They are huge for my size, but they are flat, so you can't tell I have that much, until I try to "squeeze" them into something like a bra.  I am not complaining, just commenting for those who experience the same thing.  I am looking for a Frederick's of Hollywood Store, like we had in Pensacola, as they sell those sizes in push up bras.  Anything else just hangs.  Need severe support and it is hard to find.  I can eat virtually anything, but I still dump.  I have to stay away from or severely limit to tiny amounts anything that is high in fat or sweet.  I don't do much of those things.  Just when I crave.  I eat alot of salad or wraps.  I eat fruit.  Lots of refried beans.  Meats are fine, don't care for pork, doesn't digest as well.  Drink tons of water & actually I have been drinking a 32 oz. sweet tea, diluted in 1/2 with water, so making 64 oz. a day just at work.  Then whatever I drink after work adds to that.  That way I get my liquids in.  I know the sweet tea is a no-no, but I can't stand artificial sweeteners.  Diluted that much minimizes the amount of sugar I actually take in.  Plus it is full of ice that waters it down on top of that.  The caffeine is bad for me, I know, but I still seem to be doing ok, so I have not stopped that.  If I don't do that, I don't tend to get enough liquids in.  I still do better with ice, tiny ice, as I eat it all day when I take a big gulp.  It makes me drink more.  Crazy I know, but it works.  Sorry for the long post, but it has been awhile.  My BMI is like a 32 I think, wow, so wonderful.  My incisions are so tiny.  I can only actually see 3 of them, the other 3 I have to really look hard for, and can hardly find.  The other 3 are so small, they don't stand out either.  Once I lose more, I will take a picture of my tummy/incisions (too curvy still to see them yet).  I have ankles & feet again.  I have lost 2 1/2 shoe sizes.  From a 10 1/2 & 11 to a size 8 right now.  My face looks so funny, skinny, weird.  I am always looking in the mirror, I can't believe what I see.  It is so strange.

05/11/2002:    Hey Everyone!  I know I don't post much anymore, that's why one entry is so long, usually once a month lately.  Been very busy, it seems I never slow down.  This is the first time that I have sat down & even been on the computer for very long at all in a month.  Active is good.  I am going to the "Crawfish Boil" downtown tonight.  I can't wait, want to walk & have some fun.  Going with a friend, taking my son.  He can "hang out" with friends for a couple hours, he is a good kid.  I can handle that as long as I am down there too.  Can't let loose yet.  I have let him go a couple of times with friends.  He is good about checking in when he is supposed to and coming home on time.  He dates in "groups" which is safer and makes me feel a lot better.  He is at work right now.  Worked last night too.  He is a good worker too, his bosses like him.  That is good.   Anyway, what is going on with me?  Not much.  I am currently in size 14.  I can wear size large mostly.  I prefer to get X-large most of the time, like the extra room.  I have always preferred baggy clothes, and I find that all the shirts that fit, the sleeves are so tiny, my bat wings look hideous.  I do better with longer sleeves, but in the summer, that is killer.  If I get a bigger shirt, the sleeves are longer.  But I look sloppier some times, so I have to compromise.  I like the clothes that fit now, but my belly & upper arms are the problem.  Not that any of the clothes are a problem, as I can now wear normal clothes, so I am happy regardless.  No complaints from me.  Just remarking.  I can fit in booths, movie seat, wear seat belts, and best of all, bathroom stalls.  Every time I go in a public restroom I remember how hard it was before.  Some stalls were so small I could not get in them.  I would always have to use the "handicap" stall.  I guess you could consider the weight a handicap.  It sure was for me a lot of the time towards the "end" there.  I refer to the last "heavy" year or two as "the end" because it was for me.  It was going to be the end for me in the next several years.  Amazing that I had this chance.  I ride to work every day and think about how lucky I am.  I can eat basically anything.  I can eat foods with milk in it, I just cannot drink straight milk.  Don't know what it is.  The milky foods, I have to limit a lot, or it is too much for me, makes me sick.  But other than that, and that does not bother me, eating is basically normal for me.  I still have a lot of head hunger, from time to time.  Like for the last two days I feel hungry all the time.  I know it is my head, because I have just eaten some of the times that happens.  If I had not just eaten, I would not know the difference.  Like now, I just ate & I feel like I am starving.  My stomach even growls.  A friend says that is my intestines making noises.  Wierd.  I got AMOS to post my after picture, or at least the most recent one.  I have currently lost 151 lbs. in about 9 months, 131 in about 8 months.  Still awesome!  I have gotten emails from people all over, and that is nice.  I like interacting with people and being able to answer questions, especially to pre-ops doing research & contacting people before they have surgery.  Information is the best tool in arriving at this surgery & dealing with the changes afterwards.  Every day is different, but not necessarily hard.  Just different than life before surgery.  Life is good now.  I can't complain.  Even when I am sick (which is not as often anymore), I don't mind.  It is still better than before!

05/31/2002:      I know it is a long time between posts, but I am trying.  I has only been 3 weeks!  I had a good week.  I don't remember if I  have mentioned this, but I only lose weight for about 7-10 days out of the month.  The rest, I plateau.  I do it every month, so I am used to it.  But FINALLY, I lost some more weight.  Didn't think I was going to, since I am eating what seems like ALOT more these days.  My friends who are at the same stage basically, are all eating more too, so it must be normal.  When I stand back & look, it is not that much compared to how much I ate before, but once you get used to these small servings, when it doubles, it sure seems like tons more.  I am a little over 9 months out now.  I have 3 months left to lose the majority of the rest of the weight I want to lose.  Thursday night I went shopping.  I was so thrilled to find out that I had lost two pants sizes since the last time I bought pants.  I actually fit into a size 12 petite, and they were not tight at all.  They looked perfect!  And I fit into all size large shirts.  I even got a medium on (it was too small), but the fact that I got it on at all was a miracle!  I am in like a size 7 1/2 shoe, from a size 10 1/2- 11.  I have not taken any new pics, but will try to do that this weekend & get them posted.  I really don't see a big change in me, but I know it is there.  I have been tanning, because I cannot go out in the sun without blistering if I don't.  And I want to go do stuff now.  I look so much better with the tan.  I have not been exercising every day like I should & actually I missed a couple of weeks, busy/tired/etc., but I am still going here & there.  Went 2 days this last week.  Did my laps & worked my muscles on the weight machines.  Am going to do that again today.  My upper arms & upper legs are still real big.  They are not as obvious in the right clothes.  I do wear shorts now (never would before), my legs are still big, but I don't care.  I used to have to have air conditioning wherever I was, could not breathe, sweated SO bad.  Now, even when it is smothering hot, I don't turn the air on.  It does not kill me anymore.  What a difference!  I caught a cold this week, still have it.  Been fighting it.  I think it is the first time I have been sick since surgery (9 months).  That is a major record for me, I used to be sick all the time.  I am still on 1 fluid/potassium pill, 1 blood pressure pill, 1 thyroid pill.  That is it, other than my vitamins.  I go to my PCP on June 20th for my 6 month check up, to get my blood work, etc., so I will see what is new then.  I still have a problem getting my calcium in.  I know I have to, I am trying.  It has always been hard for me to get a regiment of pills in.  I am having a harder time getting enough water in too, and I sure can tell a difference.  I got more water in this week, the same week that I finally lost some weight.  I am sure it helped.  I can eat anything I want.  I still have not had a hamburger.  That is the only thing I will not eat.  ** On a special, sad note, we lost a friend this last week about two weeks after his surgery.  Dave Odom sought a better life, like us, and my condolences go out to his family.  We will miss Dave very much. ** For those of you  looking for information about this surgery, research & being well informed is your best tool.  Talk to people, ask lots of questions, and follow your gut.  That is the best thing you can do.  I did my research, and was comfortable with my decision.  I was prepared for the worse, but hoped for the best.  This surgery can save your life, but you have to know what you are doing.  I researched surgeons and their success rates, went to see their patients in the hospital after surgery (to see what to expect).  Some cases had it hard, some did real well.  I interviewed my surgeon, with a list of questions.  I read about the risks, and I asked questions.  This is your life, don't be shy.  You won't be the first person that ever asked.  My surgeon answered my questions straight forward.  The higher your BMI, the higher your risk.  So I went on a rampage trying to lose a little bit of weight before surgery, because every pound makes a difference.  It was hard, but well worth it.  My incisions are almost invisible.  You can not hardly see them & you have to look hard.  I compared my incisions to others after surgery.  My surgeon did a wonderful job.  No staples, saw no stitches, just this tiny thin line.  I saw others with larger incisions & staples.   To me, there was obviously a difference in the  technique of different surgeons.  If I can see that on the outside, then what is the difference on the inside?  Anyway, do your research & be comfortable with your decision before you have surgery.  If you do all that, then let the surgeon do what he does best, and do your best to have a speedy recovery.  Having a positive attitude makes the world of difference too.  I have seen that!  I see where some new surgeons are starting to do this surgery now.  That will be good for the people in this area, we need more surgeons.  With insurance companies limited who we go to most of the time, the pickings are slim some times.  I was lucky.  My insurance covered the two surgeons.  Dr. Sherer & Dr. Stahl.  Dr. Sherer did not do LAP, and Dr. Stahl was the one I wanted.  I was lucky.  My PCP was a great asset in picking a surgeon too.  I trusted his opinion, he has been on my side for years.  Well, it appears I have had plenty to say this week.   I am at 179 as of this morning! Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!  Figure I will stay at that for a month, so I have a 10 pound goal to work towards over the next few weeks for next month!  Good luck to all and email me if you like, anytime.  I have met some great people through all of this.  Till next time......

06/09/2002:  Hey everyone!  Just wanted to say "hi".  Not much going on, just working, tanning & trying to get to the gym as often as I can (which doesn't seem to be often enough).  Running my kid around when he needs and spending time with my hubby.  Last night was funny.  He was sitting on the couch and I was laying with my head in his lap & he had his hand on my stomach.  All of a sudden his hand started rubbing & poking me in the ribs.  I'm like "WHAT are you doing?"  He starts laughing and saying "I can feel your ribs.  I've never felt them before."  I laughed and said "that's because I never HAD ribs before".... It is neat to find new things.  Bones especially.  He laughed at me the week before while I was sitting on the couch saying "I have knee caps"... Cool.  And wrists and ankles.  Before, my boobs were so big that they were always in the way & I could never go without a bra.  Now, I can and no-one could tell, as long as I didn't stand up real straight.  I still have big boobs, in comparison to most, but they are SO much smaller... SO SO much smaller.  It is really nice.  I still have a hard time finding a bra in a regular store, but it is getting better.   I actually found ONE recently.  That is one more than I could find before.  And I take care of myself more now.  I think I just let myself go when my weight got out of control.  I make more of an attempt to put my makeup on (except when I tan, I like to NOT wear much make-up).  Today I woke up in major pain.  Doubled over & all it is is constipation.  I have done this twice before, so I knew what it was.  But it gets right up where my pouch is & man does it hurt.  I tried to make myself dump, but of course, the one time I wanted to dump, I couldn't.  I ate 4 chocolate ROLO's & a small cup of my son's ice cream, NOPE, didn't work.  Any other time I would be sick as a dog.   The pain finally went away, but I am still severely clogged.  Sorry for the topic guys, but that is a part of this surgery.  I think it needs to be discussed for anyone else that has experienced this.  I like clothes more now.  I love to shop.  Bad thing, keeps me even broker than before.  LOL!  So many people gave me clothes, that I have not had to buy everything, every step of the way down.  But now I have run out of clothes, lost below what I had.  The smallest I had was 14's & 16's and they are all too big.  I have one pair of 14 jeans that I can still wear & I am wearing my 16 shorts, they are actually very comfy baggy.  But that won't last long.  I never thought I would get smaller than them.  I always thought that would be it.  So this is really cool.  I don't mind buying clothes in size 12 or smaller one day.  I just clearance shop alot, since we outgrow them so quickly, anything else is a waste.  Some things I will buy, knowing that they are small enough I should be able to wear them for awhile.  It is wierd, cuz the x-large shirts I bought two months ago are baggy now & that is shocking to me.  Thought they would always fit.  Glad they don't, but that is so strange to me.  I bag all my old clothes up for someone else to benefit from.  It makes me feel good that someone else can wear them.  I think I have lost like one more pound, but won't know till I officially weight.  Salt still makes me swell.  I try to stay away from it MOST of the time, sometimes it is impossible.  I don't add it to my food, unless I eat grits... Got to have it on those bland grits & eggs.

06/17/2002:    I've been doing alot of stuff with "the girls".  We do movies, get a bite to eat, the gym, and just chit-chat.  It has been nice.  Three of us went to a Mexican restaurant and all ate for $13.00 and had 1/2 of it left when we got done.  Hilarious.  I know they all think we are crazy, but hey, who cares.  I have a PCP appointment this Thursday, for my normal 6 month check-up, blood work, medicine refills.  He is going to be so thrilled with my additional weight loss.  He was so happy last time, and now I am about 25 to 30 lbs. from goal, somewhere I have never been since I got pregnant with my beloved son.  I apparently was very ignorant while pregnant, because I have learned so much that I just didn't know then & no one told me.  I didn't know toxemia made you gain weight.  I had toxemia and gained a ton of weight.  No wonder.  Idiot!  Oh well, so young, and we learn, right?  Hubby and I have been going & doing more lately.   I guess because now I can, and before I couldn't.  Can't find much to do, but we will drive unitl we figure it out! LOL!  I like going to AMOS and reading profiles.  I check out the before & after pics every time, looking for new ones.  I primarily read the profiles for people in my area, to see what is going on, or ones with pics to see what people really look like.  I love seeing the pictures.  They tell so much all by themselves.  I went and bought two pairs of jeans last weekend, size 12.  They are snug, but they have to be or in 2 weeks they are too big.  If I buy anything with room, it falls off me by the next week.  The 16's that I continue to wear to work are falling off, but they are comfy with all the room. LOL!  I will buy nicer work clothes in the next couple months when I have leveled out.  I am about 10 months post-op now, and only have about 2 months of good weight loss time left.  I can try to lose 10 lbs. each month (but my body is going to do what it wants), and that will only put me about 5-10 lbs. short of goal.  Without reconstructive surgery to remove the excess skin, I don't really think I will meet goal, but I am not considering plastic surgery at this point.  I will have to see later, but I prefer to tolerate this stuff, even though some areas are pretty bad.  I will just have to see.  Hard to say what I will do a year from now.  My life has gone through so many changes in the last year, that I don't plan that far ahead anymore.  Oh, a nice surprise though.  My hubby asked me the other day if I wanted to plan a trip to Gatlinburg next year when I get my vacation (same time as our anniversary).... OF COURSE I WOULD.  I was shocked he asked, he is hard to get motivated to go places like that.  Even though our honeymoon had major inconveniences that basically could have ruined it, I still enjoyed it.  It was our first family trip/vacation.  Even with the bad stuff, I have great memories.  I was miserable, physically, very sick, but I hid most of it, refusing for them to slow down any more than they already were, because of me.  Things have changed alot.  This time around should be awesome!

06/21/2002:    I have a funny to post - at least I thought it was.  Yesterday I was driving home from work & something kept bothering my.  I reached up to scratch the irritation & found out that it was my seatbelt rubbing against my collar bones (or whatever those bones are up front that you don't have when you are heavy)!  I had a spot where it apparently had been rubbing & was irritated!  I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT COULD HAPPEN!  I am at 175 lbs. as of yesterday & am so thrilled.  That is another small goal and puts me only 25 lbs. from goal now.  I am shooting for 150 lbs.  Actually I have really already reached my personal goal: A reasonable weight that I can function at, be healthy, and look normal.  The rest from here is just a big huge bonus.  My PCP is SO thrilled with me.  He calls this my miracle, considering that a year ago we were talking about how long I may live (which wasn't very long) and which illness was going to kill me first.  I love my PCP, he helped save my life.  All the nurses could not get over how much weight I had lost & all came up to me to congratulate me!  It's amazing that they even remembered me, but I am "a star" at their office, because I am only one of two of his patients that have had this.  Now another one is apparently considering it.  I gave them one of my little picture cards.  Maybe next time I go I will take him some stuff to hand out.  If his patients had questions, they could call me, if that is ethical.... The more people that need this surgery that get it from good reputable surgeons, the more people have a chance to benefit from this wonderful gift & live a longer, healthier life.

07/10/2002:    HEY EVERYONE!  Just wanted to say "hi" and update you on what's new lately. (Not much!) LOL!.  I am currently at 174 still.  I won't lose any more for a couple more weeks.  I don't expect to lose as much, as I only lost 5 lbs. last month.  If I can lose 5 lbs., that will be great.  That will put me at 169 & wow, what an accomplishment.  I have lost 166 lbs. so far, that would make 171.  I had 186 lbs. to lose, so goal would actually be within reach.  Maybe not by my "year" anniversary, but maybe within the next 6 months (my last chance to lose any more, as I know it stops by then)... Either way, if I don't lose any more, I am so happy & thrilled, it won't bother me a bit.  I have been very lucky to have lost this much, because when I lost 100 lbs., this surgery was considered a success for me.  And I kept losing, which I consider myself to be very lucky for.  Hubby had the last 2 weeks off and we spent alot of time together.  We never have time together.  I think we were ready to kill each other by the last day, but we had a good time otherwise (LOL!).... We relaxed & rested & stuff.  We actually went places sometimes, instead of staying indoors the whole time & me passed out from being sick or exhaustion like before.  We went to the McWane Center & did the IMAX theatre too.  That was alot of fun.   We checked out the fun stuff there.   We went and saw Men in Black 2 and hope to go to the comedy club in the next couple of weeks.  We never do anything, so this is a thrill.  My son is at a church summer camp for the week, and will be home this weekend.  We all seem to be doing "our own thing" alot, it is very weird.  To actually have stuff to do.  My next two Friday nights are pre-booked, stuff with friends (visiting a WLS friend in hospital after her surgery & girls night out with an old friend).. My calendar never used to get "booked" at all, much less in advance! LOL!  I have made some really good friends through this journey & I feel very lucky for that.  I bought me a pair of Jean Capri pants and they are so cute.  That was a first.  Size 12.  I had to "pack" myself in them at first, but by the next week, they fit just right.  I don't lose pounds during the month, but I lose inches.  I am swelling really bad, don't know if fluid pills are stopping working (been on these same ones for couple of years) or if it just the heat, or I am taking in too much salt or what.  I am taking 2 fluid pills a day still instead of one, which I don't prefer, but I retain about 8 lbs. a day in fluids if I don't.  Right now I don't have ankles, I have "pockets" of squishy stuff where the ankles are supposed to be.  Hubby says I have bones all down my back, my tailbone hits when I sit down in the bathtub & my butt goes numb after about 15 minutes of sitting anywhere.  That has been going on for months.  But I knew that happened to alot of people, so I knew it was normal.  Still shocked that it happens to me though.  Makes sitting through a movie really hard.  I squirm & twist & turn the whole time in my seat, trying to readjust & un-numb my butt!   I have knee bones, ankle bones, wrist bones, collar bones & sometimes even hip bones (if I move everything out of the way). LOL!  I bought a size medium tank top the other day.  That alone is amazing.  I fit in a size 34 bra, but can't find a "D" or "DD" cup in the stores.  I wish there was a Fredrick's of Hollywood Store in town.  I used to buy odd sized bras there before when I lived in another state.  I went in my son's closet and got a T-shirt to wear the other day, AND IT WAS TOO BIG!  Utterly amazing!  Every day is an adventure now, and I don't have to go anywhere to experience it.  All I have to do is look in the mirror or try to fit into something I couldn't before (car seats/seatbelts; restaurant booths; and the biggest, simple pleasure to me now ~ bathroom stalls!)

 I was looking at plastic surgery pics, boy what  difference it can make.  I did not realize the difference.   I didn't want plastic surgery, and it may not even be an option insurance-wise, but boy it sure makes you jealous to see others that look so much better after all that loose skin is removed.  I would lose literally 2 clothes sizes if they took this belly skin away.. But, if I keep it, I won't be upset, because I feel lucky to even be where I am today.  Alive! 

August 21st is my 1 year anniversary.   In eleven days, I will be 11 months out.  Wow, the last year has flown by SO fast, it seem like it was just yesterday that I was 341 lbs. and so sick all the time.  But when I look at my "fat" pics, it feels like that me was years ago..... It is SO weird.

A very special lady, Carla Eason, has surgery tomorrow.  I am her angel.  She has fought for over a year to have this surgery.  She has gone through alot and if anyone deserves it, she does.  I cannot wait until she has lost some weight and feels better & can walk without pain.  She is a wonderful person.  She is in my thoughts and maybe soon I can have "before" and "after" pics of her on my "friends" page here!  I do plan on adding some new friends on here, so check it out sometime soon.  These guys are great!

07/12/2002:    Well, my friend, Carla did just fine with surgery & got out of the hospital today.  I am very happy for her.  Now she is a loser, like us! LOL! 

Girl Stuff (Bras): I went shopping tonight for a bra.  Every store I go in, I try on tons of bras & none of them fit.. You would think, getting down in a 34 or 36 and loosing massive boobs, I would be able to find a bra.  Well, I now know why.. I finally found a Frederick's of Hollywood in Century Plaza.. that is where I used to buy bras a long time ago, guaranteed to find one that fits... Well, I DID find two that fit... SIZE 34 F !!!!!!!  No wonder I could not find a bra in a normal store... Even though I have lost tons of boobs, because I am now smaller around, the cup size has increased in proportion to my round size... I guess.  I don't know.. All I know is that I found two bras that finally fit & it cost me $50.... Jeez!  But, I had to have them, so no choice... I don't look like I have boobs that big, or at least I don't think I do.  My mom has big boobs, so I guess it runs in the family. 

I lost 1 more pound... Wow, they come off one at a time now... This morning I was at 173, but by tonight I have gained 5 lbs. in fluids, and it is all in my legs/ankles... I am going to take my second fluid pill and will "pee" it all off overnight, then weigh 173 again in morning, then by lunch will start gaining fluids for the rest of the afternoon to start the vicious cycle all over again.... I do this everyday....

07/14/2002:    I lost another pound this morning when I weighed.  I went out last night with a friend, and we went "shopping" all afternoon, just having fun & then to eat & drink.  We had a good time.  I bought a pair of jean capri pants, size 10!  My son is supposed to be home today, but isn't yet.  Teenagers, you never see them anymore.  But he is a good kid, so as long as he is, he can go have fun when he is not working, etc.  I have a great hubby.  He is so sweet.  He seems to really like the weight loss too.  It has been a great thing for me this last year.  I tried to take new pics today, fixing to find out how they look.. Hard to take pics of myself.  I feel so stupid standing there.  I like taking pics with someone else in the picture with me.  Currently 172 lbs. Size 10! Yippee!  I have lost  169 lbs. total, a few more & I will have lost more than I will weigh! 

07/15/2002:    This time last year, I was fighting the insurance battle and struggling to get results from a psych doctor & waiting on insurance approval.  Now, 1 year later (almost) I have lost 169 lbs. total & look forward to losing another 10-20 lbs. hopefully.  My walking partner raved about how much I had lost since we last walked (I know, I am bad). It has been like 3 weeks.  I have not lost that much.  7 lbs. I guess, from our calculations.  While we were walking, a lady stopped to tell me "how wonderful" I looked, that she had seen me before (when I was huge I guess) and had seen me walking all these months and just had to compliment me, as she thought it was important to do that for people that had accomplished alot weight loss wise.. If she only knew that I didn't do it all by myself, and that I had not been killing myself at the gym, like it looked like.. I would have told her, as I tell everyone, but it wasn't the appropriate place or time.. But it was really nice to have her stop to make a point of telling me.  I was shocked that a stranger noticed... I have changed alot, but most people would not recognize me (except for my hair, it IS very distinctive).  I have to get a picture of me & my sis next time I go to Pensacola, as now, we look just alike it seems. When I look at a picture of me, I look like her.  She says the same thing.. That is weird, because before, we did not resemble each other at all.  Or at least I didn't think so, except that we both had long red hair.. Now she has alot more hair than me, as I lost 3/4 of my hair, but I still have alot, it is just thinner.  I have alot of small patches that are growing back, but others can't really tell it, unless I point it out.  I really need to keep my butt in the gym.  I know I could get the rest of these 10-20 lbs. off if I just would work hard at it... While I am at the gym, I look forward to coming back.. But the next day, when it is time to leave work & go, I seem too busy and can't find time or find too many excuses.. I am just going to have to make myself go.  I did a mile and 1/2 tonight without much strain.... So I could easily do 2 miles a day 3-4 days a week...

07/19/2002:   Another goal met!  As of today I weigh 169 lbs... I have lost more than I weigh now... I have lost a total of 172 lbs. (That includes my 20 lbs. that I lost the month before surgery.. I worked hard for those 20 lbs., so I include them!)  If you don't believe me, I have all the loose skin to prove that I really did weigh that much before! LOL!  It is great to be healthy.  Next month is my 1 year anniversary.... So we will be celebrating SOMETHING on August 21st... I don't care what it is, it will be special.  But now to figure out what I want to do... I am too broke to do anything real expensive....  Too bad I can't give myself plastic surgery.  LOL!  Just joking.. I am completely happy with this, it is SO much better that before... I would love to take a cruise one day, but hubby won't go near water... So it would have to be with friends... Well, that is for another year.  All I can think of is to go out to eat.. That is what I always did & still do... I still love to eat.. It is just so much smaller portions.... Still love tasting food & eating different things... Hmmmmmm, what can I do?

07/21/2002:    Today is 11 months out for me.

Wow, this has been a great weight loss month so far... I am shocked, but SO happy.  I have lost 9 lbs. in the last 9 days and maybe still have a couple days to lose another pound or so till next month... Needless to say I am completely thrilled to see that when I wake up this morning.  My size 10's are fitting comfy now, so maybe by the end of this journey I can make it into a size 8.  Wow, wouldn't that be something.  If I had this excess skin removed, I would be in a 5/6, no doubt, as I have alot of skin, it is just "more distributed" than most peoples.  That makes it easier on my with every day living I think, but it is still excess skin.  It has shrunk up alot, I think.  Either that, or it is camouflaged by the tanning I am doing, and it is going to lose much worse when my tan goes away in a few months. LOL, but true!.  I want to start working out on weights more now... Why now? I don't know, but I feel more like I can handle it now, with less fat to overcome, I guess.  I wish everyone that is obese, had the ability to have this surgery with a great surgeon and lose alot of/most of their excess weight.  It is not fair that many people can't have this surgery because of insurance reasons and have to suffer with morbid obesity, when there is something that will help them overcome that.  Maybe one day insurance companies will see that it is in their benefit to pay for this surgery and save these people's lives and save on medical costs/treatments, etc.  I know that I have cut back on several thousand $$ worth of prescriptions a year alone, so far, and this is only the first year. With my medical conditions decreasing tremendously, then medical treatments alone will decrease ALOT compared to before.  I lived at my doc's office.  The last year, I spent every couple months at my PCP's, then sent to a Nephrologist (kidney specialist), went to him for several months, Thousands of Dollars worth of surgery & tests (One test was $3000 dollars and I went for tests every couple weeks, for about 3 months).... Then that didn't help, so I ended up at another doc... and so on & so on... I thought I was dying... I was very sick... I was on my couch for 1-2 weeks, vomiting every few minutes, and not even able to stand up.  I had tons of blood in my urine.. To this day, no one knows what was wrong with me.  But, whatever it was, it almost killed me... They changed up some of my med's, and that helped, but not much.  The vomiting stopped, but the rest didn't.  It took at least 6 months to get barely functional, so this surgery saved my life, literally.  I look back, and I don't know how I made it through that year... It is almost a blur now, but a very awful blur, as it was an awful year.  I would much rather have many more years like this last one.  Wow, how this last year has flown. 

Another funny ~~~ yesterday I went to buy a pair of shoes (a new fetish since weight loss) and I was looking for a black pair of platform sandals.  I found one pair (literally one pair in the store), and I was hoping for a size 8.  (I started in size 10 1/2 last year).  The box said 7 1/2 & since I have one other size 7 1/2's, I figured I would try them.. They fit... A little snug, but they would stretch out (crocheted top)... My son said they looked great!  So  I took them home & wore them out with friends that night... When I was taking the stickers off the bottom, I noticed that they were a SIZE 6 1/2!  OMG!  I about died!  From a 10 1/2 to a 6 1/2 in one year.  Years ago before I gained my weight, I wore a size 7 or a 6 1/2 when I was lucky... Never did I ever think I would ever wear a 6 1/2 again... So yet again, another wonderful surprise.

07/28/2002:    Rough week.  Anyway, different topic... I apparently pulled a muscle on my right side, upper back... Goes from under my shoulder blade, to up my neck into my head, & down my right shoulder, and arm to my wrist.  So nursing that, I have been in bed, overdosing on muscle relaxers trying to make it better so I can go back to work on Monday.  I slept from the time I came home Friday night, until today, 2:00 p.m.. It is Sunday.... Still very sore, right arm is very weak, can't hardly lift my arm, the muscle feels torn or something... But the pain is much better & tolerable.  Just have to be careful not to re-injure it and make it worse again.  School registration for my 11th grade son is this Tuesday.  First time in his life that I will not be there, but I will be at work.  He will be fine without me, I have just taken parenting very serious all these years, and it makes me feel like I am not doing my part when I am not there.  He is very independent, which is how I raised him to be.  My goal was to raise him so that if anything ever happened to me, he would not be a basket-case, but rather would be able to survive without me.  I know that sounds weird, but it is something I had to do.  I can't believe I have a kid in the 11th grade.. Almost not a kid anymore.. He is 5'10", 155#, and wears a size 11 1/2 shoe.  He is taller than I am (and taller than his deadbeat dad).  I would die for some of that $35,000.00 arrears that his dad owes in Child Support.  Would have made life a little easier to have some help.  But, we did it on our own & with Tommy these last few years.  We've done ok.  We don't have the nice, big house that we wanted, but we have done ok.  We just have to work really hard for what we get.  All three of us.  Even David, my son, now is working for what he wants.  That is good for him though.  

08/11/2002:     My one year anniversary is coming up soon... I am supposed to go to the surgeon, for my 1 year follow-up.. I missed my 9 month follow-up, so I have to go to this one.. I have to get my B-12 shot too.. I have started to feel run down, so I know that is part of it, in addition to my iron running low & I am becoming anemic.. So now I have to start iron.. I went and bought some at GNC this weekend.  I asked the girl for the "most absorbable" iron, and she handed me this one.. I get home & realize that stupid me didn't check to make sure they were not capsules, and low & behold they were.  So I put one in a glass of water & 8 hours later it still had not dissolved... I assume it requires stomach acid to break down, but I don't have any of that either, so unless I take them with a glass of lemon juice, I am going to have to find something else!  That was a waste of money..  I have been eating more carbs the last few days & I can tell it really affects the way I feel.. Makes me really tired, in addition to how tired I am already.. So, got to get back on salads & stuff.  I have been doing really well.  I have not lost any more weight since last month, but that is fine.. I will lose some in a couple of weeks.  I went to the gym and did 2 miles (ran part of it) and man did my upper thighs/legs hurt for days... I have gotten out of shape obviously.  The time before, I pulled a muscle, so I guess I need to go more often & not try to do as much.. My Fibromyalgia has been giving me fits, seem more due to fatigue than anything else... Working on that. Still going to the chiropractor 3 days a week.  I found out that I have (1) lost the curve in my neck, and not only is it straight, but it is starting to curve backwards; (2) have a spur on my neck; (3) have two bones at the base of my neck that have been broken or never grew together.  So, all three of these things would be the reason for all of my constant neck pain.  I have to sleep/lay with something rolled up and supporting my neck at all times.  It hurts severely if I don't, besides the doc telling me I have to.  My Blood pressure is good (one pill a day still though), my sugar is great (last test was about 73).  So that is greatly improved.  I still take thyroid medication, and my fluid retention is giving me fits.. I am on my 3rd fluid pill, and can't tell a difference.  I swell up in my ankles & lower legs by 5pm everyday.  By the time I get home I have 10 lbs. of fluids in my legs.. I am going to up my water intake & see if that helps.. Nothing else has so far.

08/31/2002:    Well, 10 days ago was my 1 year WLS anniversary.  I had forgotten that morning, until I opened my email and had tons of "Happy Anniversery" wishes from AMOS & my email group of friends and all.... It was so nice, thank you guys, it meant alot.  I took pics last weekend with my sister & have posted them for my most recent pics... We actually look like sisters now... It is so amazing... I look at before pics (especially of my face) and don't even see the same person.  I am healthy and I feel good most of the time, and that is so great.. I don't think I have been getting in enough protein all this time, because my muscles keep "pulling" and giving me problems, so I have to work on that... My size 10's are starting to loosen, so that is good.  I am at 160 lbs. right now and it is a good weight for me, I think.  If I did not have this excess skin, I would probably be in a size 8, and that is small enough.. So with the skin a size 10 is good.  If I lose more, fine, but if not, I am not going to worry about it.. I am happy where I am at.  I wish everyone else could be as happy with themselves.  I see people beating themselves up over 2 or 5 lbs. or so, when those few pounds are not as important as where they are at.  I look at the last year, and boy has it flown.  I look out at the next year & what is to come... For me, I will see if I lose any more weight, as I think I am about done, give or take maybe 5 more pounds or so.  Plastic surgery, although I would love to have this excess skin removed, is not a life or death thing for me.  I will spend this next year concentrating on my vitamins & supplements & health & seeing how much this excess skin will draw up.  Hopefully I can change my exercise routine to include exercises that will help with different areas of my body & tightening up skin & building muscles & toning areas like my abdomen, upper thighs, upper arms, etc.  I eat much healthier than I ever have in my life, so that is good.  I plan on continuing with that, as that can only help me.  I hope to be here for those who have questions and need support in their journey to having WLS surgery.  I have been contacted by many people who have questions and am always anxious to answer them.  Some people I have formed friendships with , others I never hear from again.  Both are fine.  Whatever works is good for me.  AMOS has played a big part of my life this last year & 1/2e, since I started my journey.  They are a very important tool and we are all lucky to have them.  When I am financially able I plan on becoming a sponsoring member  of their site, as I think that is very important for us to help in return for all the that we have received from them.

09/10/2002:    Well, we had our WLS group get-together last weekend and alot of work, but such a great time visiting, meeting, talking & eating!  We swapped clothes and tried new sugar-free stuff (drinks, cookies, etc.).  We took pictures and got to meet all those people we only email with.  It takes me awhile to remember names, so that is not good.  Quite rude, but I can't help it.  I have to ask everyone their names two or three times before I can remember them.. Always been that way.  I am at 160 lbs... losing sizes still, the pounds usually catch up when they are ready.  I am in a size 8 now and even bought a pair of jeans the other day that fit fine, size 6!  Totally amazing and unbelievable... I have all of this "flab" and I just have to pack it in there.. I can pack with the best of em'. LOL!  My wedding rings continue to fall off on the floor when I open my hand out, so I have to keep my finger bent to keep them off.  The other day at the gathering I was talking, went to point & there went my rings across the room.. Going to have to get them fixed... one day.  I am finding that the days have so many hours in them (because I am not sleeping so much anymore) and I am like awake so many more hours, it is wierd.  Days feel so much longer, lots to do.. So different.. I remember just barely being able to get up, go to work & get home to lay down/go to bed, because I was so sick.  Seems like it was like that for so long, but really only the last year before surgery was the worst.  I still have feet swelling problems, but that is getting better I guess.  Going to watch it over time, see if problems come back.  It is so nice to be smaller.  Life just is so different from this side of the world.  I never really minded being big, but now I see how this is so much better.  I do find that I am more compassionate than ever for morbidly obese people.  I want everyone that is suffering to be able to have the opportunity & gift that I have received.  My PCP's office called the other day to refer a patient to me.  That was a compliment.  He is very proud of me and that makes me feel good.  I am indebted to him forever!

09/20/2002:    It has been such a rough week!  Monday night my son totals the 3rd car, the day before he is to start driving to work/school, etc... Everyone was ok, which is most important, but now we are so behind again.  Broke & no transportation for him to get to work, making it harder on me again.  Then today, my hubby wrecked his car.  He has put a ton of his money in this car, on the way to a car show he has been preparing for for 8 months now & wrecked before he got in the gate with the car.  He was devastated.  This car was his "baby".  But, it is fixable, and he and all others are ok.  Again, that is what is important.  But man, our insurance rates are going to go through the roof.  On a good note, I have lost more weight this week.  I have dropped about 8 lbs. which is totally AWESOME for 13 months out.  I figured I was done losing weight, maybe a pound or two over the next 6 months to be done.  So I count myself thankful and drum roll please...........I am at 152 lbs.  as of today!  Three more pounds and I will no longer be "overweight", I will be "normal"... That is my new goal I guess.  Never in my wildest dreams would I ever had thought I would do so well and lose so much weight, so quickly.  It is truly amazing.  I now weigh less than my son.  A few days ago, I weighed 4 pounds more than him.  Now today, I weigh 2 pounds less! Did I tell you that I am anemic?  Well, I am, so I am taking iron & it really seems to help.  So that is good.  Good health awareness is so important post-op.  It is probably the most important thing there is, in conjunction with taking all the necessary vitamins and all to stay healthy.

10/05/2002:    The weeks still are so busy & everything being thrown at me it seems.. But after the weight loss, it seems so much easier to handle.. Even the bad stuff.  Mom-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer this week and her time, it seems, is VERY short.  I have spent most of my spare time going to the hospital this week to see her & the same this weekend.  Am going to do my best to help her in any way I can now, as she needs it and it seems that I am the person that most needs to do this for her.  She has been good to us, and I intend on returning the favor right now when she needs it the most. 

Physically, I am in the best health ever!  That is a miracle itself.  My doctor is going to be so surprised the next time I see him!  He was already so happy & pleased, so this should make his day!  He has started referring patients to me who are interested in the surgery, which was a big compliment to me that he did that.  I am looking at taking on a second job to help pay the bills, help with my son's wishes to go to college in a year or two & pay for all these new clothes I have to keep buying because of the weight loss!  Wow can that be expensive, even with shopping clearance racks, because as soon as you buy them they are too big a month later or so!  That, I will never complain about, no matter how much it costs!  I am still at 152 lbs., but bought my second pair of size 6 pants last night.. So two pair make me believe more that I can really fit into a size 6 & that the first pair was not just a fluke.  I am mainly in 8's, but a couple size 6's can't hurt anything!  LOL!

I have hear from & met many new people with this WLS.  Both online & off.  It has been really nice.  I like hearing from people that have questions, and I try to answer best I can.  I hope it helps those who need it.  This surgery is not perfect, but nothing is.  99.9% of the time, it becomes what you make it.  There is that small percentage that no-one can control the outcome.  I chose to make mine a very positive thing & it has been nothing but wonderful for me.  I could have chosen to "dwell" on negative things, and I know I would not have done as well.  So for all of you out there, make it a good thing.. Remember the "icky" things are only temporary & that great things are to come.  Work to do what you are supposed to do, such as taking your vitamins, exercising, drinking TONS of water.  The water is the most important thing I can stress with this surgery.  The other things are mega important too, but the water is #1 in my book.  I can basically eat anything I want, so variety is not a problem.  I stay away from breads, except for 1 bite here & there, just for taste.  I occasionally do tiny sweets, to satisfy cravings or "splurge" here & there.  I try to keep the carbs down, but some days I don't, and that is ok for me, because I get right back on track within a couple of days.  I don't beat myself up if I "do something wrong", as we all do that & it doesn't do any good.  I just am very conscious of my responsibility towards my weight & my health & have taken control.  That is something I did not have before. 

10/21/2002:    14 months out today!  As of 10/18, I hit goal!  I decided a month or so ago that my goal would be 149 lbs.  That would put me with a BMI in "normal" range, no longer overweight.  I hit 148 lbs. on the 18th, so I beat it by 1 lb.!!! So awesome.  I am in a comfortable size 6 pants & small top.  I wear a 7 1/2-8 shoe now.  I am off all of my meds except my fluid pill, which has nothing to do with my weight.  I have to take them to urinate.. Separate problem all-together.  I decided I would reward myself, but until the other day, couldn't figure out what I wanted.  When I hit goal, I immediately knew what it was.  I wanted contacts.  I hated wearing glasses, but was so scared of contacts, because my eyes are so sensitive.  So I decided that was what I would do.  So I called & got an appointment for Saturday and went and got them.  They are SO great.  Small wish, but was one that was great for me!

On another note, we lost my husband's mom on October 10th.  It has been a rough few weeks, as I have been going to the hospital every day until she died... So I got real close to her, spent alot of time with her.  I think it was harder on me.  But we are strong and we will survive.. I just find myself thinking it is her when the phone rings, then I have to realize that it isn't. 

11/09/2002:    Not a whole lot going on, just staying busy ALL the time.. Which is good, I think... I am enjoying life & being able to do things now, instead of sitting home all the time like before.. Don't get me wrong, a good day at home doing nothing is wonderful, mainly because they are so few & far between. LOL!  Wrestling season started for my son, so I will be at the school alot for the next several months.. I actually enjoyed it last year, instead of dreading it (because I was so sick before)... last year I worked the home events and had alot of fun.  Looking forward to that again.  

I have been meeting new people involved in the WLS process the last few months, and I really enjoy that. I went to breakfast last weekend with a new "friend" that I met online and she is local.  That was nice.. I tend to talk non-stop it seems when I get with someone and get to talking about it... Man, afterwards I wonder how I got that much said in such a short time!  It's like there is not enough time to get it all in or something.  I am looking forward to being more involved with WLS patients locally.  I enjoy going to the hospital & seeing them after surgery.  I take pictures of anyone that will let me, for before & after shots... The new people I have met lately, are waiting on insurance approval.  I am very excited for them, they have this whole new life ahead that they cannot even imagine yet.

I lost two more pounds this week.  Not intentionally, just did.  I am currently at 146 lbs. and have lost 195 lbs. total, with 175 of those since surgery.  I am in a comfortable size 6 now, and would like to stay here.  My saggy skin is still saggy, but seems to still be getting better.  I notice more & more when I raise my arm to talk, that batwings wave for me, even when I am not trying! LOL!  It doesn't bother me too bad, it is still SO much better than being obese.. I can deal with it.  I look normal in clothes, never thought I would.  Now when I look in the mirror, I finally see a skinny person, not a fat person.  It took over 14 months for my head to catch up, I guess.  I still crave, I still fall "off the wagon" with food.. I eat crappy stuff for a few days, no more than a week, then I kick myself in the butt & get back on track... Then a few weeks later, I do it all over again.. For me that is normal, so I don't worry about it.  I am doing better taking my calcium citrate... Only took me a year!  I still don't do protein supplements... I do eat protein first though.  I would recommend anyone that can tolerate the protein to do it, not to do like me.. I just can't stand it.  It is just me.  I have a bad reaction to artificial sweeteners in sugar-free cookies & candies.. It makes me sick as a dog!  So I eat stuff with sugar in it, but I am at goal & it has not affected my weight loss, so I am not worrying about it too much.  I just pay attention and make sure it is in small amounts.. I can never eat a whole bag of cookies or candy anymore, so even though my "little" bit seems like alot, in all reality, it is a very tiny amount.. We just get so used to tiny amounts, that when we eat sugar or chocolate or something, it scares us to death, because we fear we have overdone it... But most of the time, we haven't, we are doing just fine.  I see so many people eat chips or candy then start beating themselves up over it, making it worse, because then they get into that routine that that feel bad about themselves, so they start to eat worse as punishment for being bad.. That only makes it worse.. So eat it, and get over it... Don't punish yourself...

I am going to highlight my hair, take a Calgon bath, then go meet up with a fellow WLS'r that has become a friend over the last few months and enjoy the rest of my day!  Hope you do too!

11/16/2002:    I cannot believe that it is almost Christmas.  Unbelievable!  My son will be 17 years old in a month, and that too is unbelievable!  I remember when he was just a little baby.  Now, 17 years later he is almost grown.  Wow! 

I have been visiting the AMOS chat room quite a bit lately.  Sometimes it has some neat stuff going on, sometimes not.  Kind of a hit & miss thing.  I like seeing what other WLSr's have to say.  I learn things sometimes, even now, which is pretty cool.  I like the interaction with others that have gone through the same thing.  Most stories are successful, a few are not.  I do notice a trend of people "complaining" alot, those that seem to "welcome" failure & feel sorry for themselves.  The "positive" people seem to do so much better, have less food issues, be healthier & tolerate more.  This observation has also been confirmed by my PCP.  That is not to say that people having problems bring it all on themselves.. this surgery does come with some problems sometimes, it is just that I have seen a pattern with recovery & toleration and a post-op patient's attitude and general outlook.  That's all.  I believe that if you expect problems, you will have problems.  I saw a "rock" the other day that had a saying carved in it.. It was pretty cool, and now it is one of my favorite quotes.  " If you think you can or can't, you are right." 

I am still maintaining at 146 lbs.  which is great.  I still feel like I might lose another pound or two, just because of the way my body does routinely.   My clothes are still getting looser.  My size 6's the other day were baggy.  Wow, that was a mind-blowing experience, yet again!  I may not lose any more weight.. I know, other than a pound or two, I really don't need to.  I hate to say it (not really, LOL!) but I don't want to get too skinny!  LOL!  Never thought that would ever be an issue.  I still don't count calories, etc.  I eat whatever I want, keeping most of my foods in a healthy range.  I do splurge more now, but I think I have to, or I will lose too much weight.  I know some people have to "up" their calorie intake after their weight loss, to maintain at a healthy weight.  It looks like I may be one of those people.  We will see.  I am just watching and "eating accordingly".  I am back to drinking coffee every day.  I love my coffee every morning.   I don't think it hurts me any, because I make sure I am still drinking my water every day.  Not every day do I get in a full 64 oz., but I am not trying to lose anymore either.  I just make sure I get enough in to keep from dehydrating and/or causing any health issues (kidney stones, etc.)

11/30/2002:    Well, Thanksgiving came & went & I lived through it and did great!  I cooked for hours & hours Thursday morning, all by myself... Did 3 loads of dishes along the way, stood on my feet for hours, without any pain or swelling.  In the past, after the first hour I would have been in massive pain, suffering through the next many hours until it was over.  My feet/ankles/legs would swell up awful, sometimes 20lbs. in fluids by the end of the day & I would be sick for days recuperating.  This year, I did it, ate & did great.  I did not get sick from any of the food & had control for the first time in my life.  It is nice to have that control.  It is weird to watch everyone else go back for 2nd's & 3rd's of heaped plates of massive amounts of food.  I used to eat that much, but now it is strange to see how much other people eat.  I ate a little spoonful of everything & when I went back for seconds, it was a spoonful of two things and that is all.  Green beans & corn.  Cool, huh?  Physically I am SO much healthier & I can really see it when I have something to compare it to.  Oh, and I never took a fluid pill the whole day, which is another amazing thing... I still have to take one a day normally, but that day I was fine... I notice sitting all day at work makes the swelling worse, and if I am up & going all day, I don't have as much as a problem.  I still don't urinate without the fluid pills, but the swelling in my ankles/legs is less apparent when I am up & around a lot more.

On a different note, I went through Jack's down the road this morning to get hubby some breakfast on the way home from taking my son to work.  The girl in the drive-thru has been there for a few months says "You have lost a LOT of weight!"... What is so funny is she has only seen me the last few months.... My reply?  "I obviously come here too much!!!" LOL!  She said she has noticed that lately when I come by (always in drive-thru), that I have lost a lot of weight... Now isn't that hilarious?  I showed them my little "card" that has my before & after pics on it... They were in shock!  She never knew I weighed THAT much.... Pretty cool!

I am still maintaining between 146-148 lbs. depending on the time of the month.  I will know around the 10th-12th of December if I have lost anymore, because that is when it shows up monthly.  I figure I should be about the same, or at least it seems.  Still in a size 6, smalls.  I will be 37 years old in January.  Most days I feel like a teenager again.  I made an appointment for 12/16 with my PCP... will get my blood work done again, get my thyroid checked (not sure meds are still right), ask for an iron shot & B-12 shot while I am there... Going to have him check my iron & protein & I think it is about time for a bone scan, although I know I have done awful in the past on calcium and am trying to do better these last few months.  My tailbone still hurts & my butt goes numb after sitting for a few minutes, but that is minimal to the problems I had before surgery!

12/08/2002:    I can't believe that this year is almost over & we start 2003 in less than a month.  Totally mind-blowing at how fast this year has gone & how far I have come.  I had a good day yesterday.  I got up & rode with my hubby to work, because I didn't have a vehicle, mine was in the "shop".... So to kill time, I walked across the street to Century Plaza (mall)... Just walking was so cool.  The entire way I kept thinking how not so long ago I couldn't walk that far, not even a little.   I even ran across the main highway, something that was not possible before, and it was so easy.  I was in the mall for 4 hours before I realized how late it was.  I bought a pair of Levi Dockers for work & it was weird because all the sizes I picked up were too big.. size 8's & 10's & 12's.. I actually had a hard time finding a size 6 on clearance that I liked!  But I found one pair, and they slipped right on, like they were made for me.   Then I went to the Body Shop to buy panties... I cannot find the kind I like very many places... I found 3 pair, all size 6 also.. that was totally awesome, because when I get home & take them out of the bag, they are SO TINY!  I enjoyed walking & watching people & being able to physically go all day & not be exhausted or sick.  I did not get tired until 3am this morning.  Totally AWESOME!  I felt great ALL DAY!  I have lost two more pounds, was at 144 a couple days ago, exactly one month from the last time I lost any weight.  It is like clockwork now, I know exactly when it is going to happen.  Pretty cool.  Weight loss should stop soon.  I have been eating higher calorie foods to see if I can stop the weight loss.  I don't mind a couple more pounds, but that is all.  I know it will stop soon, so I am not really worried.  Three more pounds will be exactly 200 lbs. I have lost since my journey started, with 180 lbs. being since surgery.. That alone is astounding.  

12/13/2002:    It's been a long week & I am tired... Have parties all day tomorrow, so although I know it is going to be completely an exhausting day, I am looking forward to it... We are having our "periodic" get-together of WLS'rs that have formed a group to support each other... We enjoy visiting & swapping clothes & seeing each other's progress every few months.  We learn from each other too.  Then I am having my son a "Birthday Bash" for his 17th birthday... have not done anything for him in years, so this year I decided to go way out).  I am sure it has everything to do with the fact that I am physically able to do it now.  He is so excited and so am I.  I have a "check up" with my PCP on Monday.  Going to get all my stuff checked, get a B-12 shot, maybe an iron shot, etc.  He is always so proud of me.  I have probably lost another 40 lbs. since I was in there 6 months ago, and now being at goal I am sure he is going to be ecstatic.  He is such a great guy.  And his staff is also so wonderful too.  I have been going to them since I moved here 8 years ago.  I think a lot of them.  I am maintaining at 144.. I gain fluids in my legs throughout the day & when I wake up every morning they are all gone.  I still have to take my fluid pills.  It is amazing how much fluid my legs hold.. to see what a difference a few hours make.  When I wake up, legs are so skinny... By lunch they are swelling.. By supper they are swollen & they stay that way till I go to bed... It is something I have become used to all these years.. It is much better than before, so I can't complain.  It is just really weird to see.  I hear from WLS people from time to time that find my site and email me to say Hi.... that is nice.  I like hearing from you all.  It means a lot.  I like reaching out & helping others that are where I used to be.  I think it is important.  Thanks to all of you and I wish you much success in your journey.

12/25/2002:    Well, been super swamped still, but trying to make it through... Man, the more energy I have, the more energy I need.